Why Parents Skip Family Engagement Events (and How to Fix It)
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When families and teachers collaborate at school events, magic happens. Parents and teachers feel heard and connected over their shared commitment to giving students the support they deserve to thrive.
But when no one shows up?
Resources are used, but no connection is made. Even events with thoughtful planning, accommodations, and all of the best intentions won’t make an impact if no one is there to experience it.
When Family Engagement Activities Go Wrong
During our conversation with community engagement expert Dr. Marcia Russell, we dove into both common and surprising reasons why people aren’t attending family engagement events.
Dr. Russell teamed up with a school district to research barriers to coming to family engagement activities, in this case an English Learner Advisory Committee. Parent liaisons called other parents directly and set up focus groups to learn more about what were preventing these families from showing up to events.
So what did they learn?
Social Anxiety
The fear of being judged by other parents plays a surprising role in parents declining to attend events.
“They would say things like, well, those parents attend, and they attend everything, and I can't attend everything. And so I feel like they're going to look at me, like, why are you here?” Russell said. “We had another who said, ‘well, you know, I don't know who I would go with to something like this’… and that's completely understandable. Frankly, the last thing I ever want to do is show up at an event with people I don't know and have to make small talk.”
Solution:
Lean into individual outreach. Utilize as many communication channels as possible in order to cast the widest net and get as many parents to participate, whether that’s in-person, remotely, on the phone, or online. Create in-school event options (for example, Lunch with a Loved One) that are inclusive and can be used to educate any family member, caring adult, or even an older sibling.
Logistical Barriers
Many schools acknowledge and proactively address these logistical barriers, but they remain consistent challenges for parents and families. Childcare, transportation, meal logistics, language barriers… these are just a few examples of things that make attendance feel like a non-starter.
Solution:
Hire staff to watch kids on campus, offer dinner for attendees, bring in translators, and provide specific support based on the event (for example, tech support at a meeting about operating a new edtech tool). Consider recording and streaming the event for parents to watch at home, or hosting additional remote Office Hours where parents can drop in virtually and share their thoughts.
Mistrust of the School System
For many parents, school didn’t (or doesn’t) feel like a safe or welcoming place—which can lead to skepticism about the system as a whole. Mistrust of the school system, due to past schooling experiences or negative interactions with school-based groups, can make some parents feel shut out of the collaborative process.
“It could be that they don't feel welcome in the school. It could be that sometimes they feel like there's been inconsistency in when they're allowed to be involved in school and some broken promises there.”
Solution:
Invite honest dialogue, and listen without judgment. Create physical or digital feedback forms and processes to gather anonymous input from families, and commit to making changes based on the results. Be transparent! Building trust begins with taking accountability for any previous missteps, then creating parent-school partnerships that are inclusive, accessible, and respectful.
Cultural Barriers
Often, taking a step back to look at the larger picture is required to more deeply understand your parent population.
Russell recounts her conversation with an involved grandparent during her principal days. He would often sign up for family engagement activities, but then back out. He explained that in his culture, it would be disrespectful to advise teachers, since they're considered experts. “I think he was feeling obligated to sign up, but then backed out because he felt that it just was not appropriate," Russell says. "It was definitely a strong learning [experience] for me.”
Solution:
Invest resources into learning about the demographic nuances of your family population. Make time and space for administrators to engage with reluctant parents. This one-on-one outreach will not only help you discover unknown barriers, it will also help families feel like their experiences matter.
Attendance is Just the Beginning
Fixing attendance barriers to family engagement activities is the first step to fostering trust and partnership between schools and parents. To do this effectively, administrators must set aside their egos, challenge their beliefs about why families aren't coming to school events, get curious, and ask tough questions.
“[Be] authentic and genuine in the kinds of questions you're asking. You really do gain an interest in your families and you gain so much more knowledge back when you talk to them.”
When it comes to family engagement activities at schools, attendance is roadblock number one. By implementing these strategies, you’ll be able to get as many families as possible in the door, where the magic can start to happen.